So many people use those expressions in communication with colleagues from different cultural backgrounds without even thinking about how damaging it is to their colleagues and how it affects communication within their team.

Phrases like:

• “This is how you do it in your country, right?”
• “We are all the same here.”
• “I do not see color/culture / where you are from.”
• “You are so well integrated.”
• “In your culture, you people tend to…”
• “Where are you really from?”
• “That is just how things work here. You will get used to it.”
• “I know exactly how you feel. When I moved cities…”
• “You are too sensitive.”
• “That was not meant as an offense.”
• “We have always done it this way.”
• “You know what I mean.”
• “Can you say that again? Your accent is hard to follow.”

Imagine you change countries (not cities in your own country), leave everything behind – your family and friends, social network, professional network – and move to a country where you know almost no one. You find a job (if you are lucky, doing what you’ve studied for, if not, probably lower than your capabilities), and you end up in a team that seems friendly. But slowly, you start feeling that punchy discomfort with every meeting, and you notice some drop-offs in the conversation.

At first, you feel uncomfortable, but the more you hear it, the more it lands. It is about you and your colleagues from different countries. So you refrain from adding anything to the conversation or asking questions to avoid those remarks that “are not intended to offend”. Now your enthusiasm is gone, your interest in participating in meetings is nonexistent, and you wonder what in the world you are doing there.

What would you do?

Every culture have it’s sets of rules in communication

If you live in a country like the Netherlands, with many, many cultures, you probably notice that one person’s “yes” is not always a “yes,” and it might very well mean “maybe” or “no.” You see that one’s bluntness is considered disrespectful, while others’ lack of it is considered superficial. Why is that?

Low Context vs High Context

Edward Hall, an anthropologist, developed this framework in the 1970s, and it remains valid today, because it explains a dynamic that teams experience every day without a name for it.

Low-context communication means the message is in the words. What you say is what you mean. You are expected to be direct, explicit, and clear. If something needs to be said, you say it out loud. As simple as that.

This is the communication style you will find in the Netherlands and Nordic countries, for example.

High-context communication means the message is in everything around the words. Tone, silence, relationship history, who is in the room, and what was not said. The meaning lives in the context, not just the sentence.

This communication style is found in Eastern European, Middle Eastern, and African Cultures.

Neither is better. They are just different operating systems in people’s brains, shaped by their upbringing, and running in the same office or meeting room. But when it is not understood, it can get people into all kinds of trouble.

Western Europe Cultural Set Of Rules (Low Context)

The unwritten rules:

• Say what you mean – being direct means you are professional.
• Time is a value – being late is disrespectful, and the meetings start and end on schedule.
• Hierarchy exists but is often downplayed – in the Netherlands and Scandinavia, especially, challenging your manager in a meeting is normal and expected.
• Feedback is given directly and is not personal – you can disagree with someone’s idea and go for lunch with them an hour later. Feedback is always about the project, speech, or your work, not about you as a person.
• Silence in a conversation is uncomfortable – and it is usually filled in with ideas.
• Written agreements matter – if it is not in writing, it does not have the value of a commitment, and you can change your mind about it or simply not do it.
• Work and personal life are separate – asking too many personal questions too soon feels intrusive, the same stands for inviting your colleagues to dinner at your house. Unless you work together for a very long time, and you have a mutual agreement on mixing the private with work life.

The danger of misunderstanding for colleagues from other backgrounds: the directness can be seen as coldness, disrespect, or even aggression in communication. The lack of relationship-building before business makes it feel transactional and unsafe, and the flat hierarchy feels fake, or like a test, they are set to fail.

Eastern Europe Cultural Set Of Rules (mixed context)

• Relationships come before tasks – you do not do business with someone you do not know and at least partially trust. To build trust, you build a relationship over dinner or common activities.
• Hierarchy is real and respected – at least publicly. Disagreement with authority happens in private, and not in a direct confrontation.
• Silence and indirectness are common and expected – especially when the stakes are high, or the power gap is large. Silence is seen as wisdom and space to think before making a big decision.
• Pessimism and skepticism are not negativity — they are seen as wisdom and sharpness of mind. People who have lived through instability like communism and revolution learn to expect the worst, so they are not caught off guard.
• Complaining together is a form of bonding – do not mistake it for low moral standards or gossip. What is seen as complaining is actually recognizing a problem as the common enemy rather than making a person an enemy.
• Hospitality is serious – being invited to someone’s home or offered food is a way of building trust, and refusing is a signal that the person invited refuses a relationship, and implicit trust is not an option.
• Trust is built slowly and lost quickly – and once lost, it is very hard to rebuild. Trust starts with a relationship, and a work relationship without a personal relationship does not count as trust.

The danger in communication for Western European managers: You see skepticism as resistance, indirectness as dishonesty, and deference to hierarchy as lack of initiative. None of those is accurate. So take the time to study the cultures within your team before you lose their trust.

Middle East Cultural Set Of Rules (High Context)

• You do not go straight to business – you drink tea, ask about family, and talk about things that have nothing to do with the meeting agenda. This is not small talk, because the meeting starts with genuinely asking about the other’s personal life as a form of care.
• Trust is built through repeated personal contact over time – one conversation is not enough to build trust, and it takes several meetings over a lunch or dinner to build trust.
• Saying no directly is face-threatening – both for the person saying it and the person being addressed. Expect indirect refusals: “we will think about it”, “God willing”, “that could be difficult”. Learn to hear what is between the words, because there is always more between the words than what is said.
• Public disagreement or criticism is deeply uncomfortable because it threatens dignity and honor. Feedback always happens privately, carefully, and based on the relationship that has already been built.
• Hierarchy is significant and visible – age and seniority carry real authority, and it is deeply respected.
• Gender dynamics vary significantly by country, but are present in almost every professional context and cannot be ignored. Women are seen differently from men and culturally accepted.
• Hospitality is not optional – it is a value, and refusing it is seen as disrespect and creates a rupture in trust.

The danger for low-context communicators: You may read the indirectness as dishonesty or evasiveness. Push for a direct answer and inadvertently force someone into a corner. And the most dangerous one: skip the relationship-building because you are in a hurry, and then wonder why the deal fell apart.

If you want to do business with a person from the Middle East, even if you are in teh Netherlands, take time to build a relationship first; otherwise, your effort is only a waste of energy. There is no business without trust, and trust is earned only in a relationship!

Asian cultures set of rules

The most internally diverse category on this list, so treat it with caution. Japan and India operate very differently. But there are some shared similarities worth naming.

• Face and the way you are perceived from the outside – the concept of dignity, reputation, and social standing – is central to almost every interaction. Anything that causes someone to lose face in front of others is a serious rupture in trust and respect, often unforgivable.
• Harmony is a value – avoiding conflict is a form of respect and social intelligence.
• Hierarchy is deep and structured – in Japan and South Korea especially, seniority shapes who speaks, in what order, and how directly.
• Silence is not empty – in Japanese business culture, especially, silence after a proposal is often the most important moment in the meeting. It is thinking, weighing, and sometimes a polite no.
• In China, relationships — guanxi — are the foundation of business. Without them, no business is done. When the relationship is solid, almost anything is possible.
• In India, communication styles vary widely across regions, religions, generations, and contexts. English is widely used, but the cultural layer underneath is not Western. A head wobble means something. Indirect agreement is common and accepted, and hierarchy is present and very important.
• Written communication often remains more formal and deferential than the relationship would suggest.

The danger in communication: reading silence as agreement and taking harmony-seeking as a lack of opinion. Skipping the relationship and going straight to the transaction. And above all, treating Asia as one culture. Every country in Asia has a different set of rules – take time to study them and know your people.

African Culture Set Of Rules

This is the most under-represented category in Western business communication training and also one of the richest. It is a high-context culture, with a lot of ancient wisdom due to the 2000 different languages.

• Ubuntu – a Nguni Bantu concept roughly translated as “I am because we are” – shapes communication in much of Southern and East Africa. Individuality exists in relation to the community. Decisions are not purely personal, and the outcomes affect everyone. As a result, everyone makes sure the decisions are good.
• Collective harmony and group consensus take precedence over individual directness. This is not indecisiveness; it is a different model for how good decisions are made individually and in the community.
• Elders and seniority carry significant authority – age is a form of wisdom, and it is used in decision-making.
• Relationships and personal connections come before business, sometimes significantly so. It is possible that the business will not go through at all if the connection in the relationship cannot be made.
• Storytelling is a primary communication tool – context, history, and narrative are the substance in communication. Getting to the point is not something to expect.
• Directness about money, disagreement, or failure may be indirect or handled through a third party to preserve the relationship.
• In many contexts, emotional expressiveness (warmth, laughter, and appropriate physical touch) is part of professional communication.

The danger in communication: Western managers read the consensus-orientation as slow or inefficient. They read the relational warmth as unprofessional and misunderstood indirectness about conflict as avoidance. And the biggest mistake of all is trying to bring a deeply individualistic framework into a collectivist culture, then wondering why it does not work.

What applies in every culture

Every culture is unique, and every person on your team is shaped by their culture, generation, family, personal history, nervous system, and everything that happened to them before they walked into your company. You, too, are shaped by all these, plus every interaction you have with different cultures, shaping you into a new and more expansive version of yourself.

Use these frameworks as a map. The map helps you ask better questions, understand intention, and most importantly, build trust within your organization and team. It does not give you the answer, but it helps you find the answer together as a team.

When you want to communicate something, take the time to prepare so that what you say reaches every person on your team. Ask questions to make sure everyone understands. Then let your people reflect back to you what they hear, so you can make sure they got the same message you intended to send.

If you are reading this and feel that you could do more for your team, we would love to talk to you. Sit with you and have a real conversation about the dynamic between you and your people, before we suggest anything at all.

When you are ready, you can book a call here.

More on communication: The Best Way to Improve Communication In A Team and How to Benefit From Keeping Your Word at All Times

Until next time,

Cristina